Beauty School?

So all this time I've been so worried about making others happy that I haven't thought about what i want to be when i "grow up". Starting in 10th grade when i decided to go to the career cner I wanted to be a cosmotologist, and my parents wouldn't let me go for that so i went for health and kinda got sucked into going to college for physical therapy. I don't want to do that. i would absolutly love to be a nurse, but blood, needles, seizures, adn a panic disorder don't mix. I've though off and on during the past few about hair school again and didn't do it because i knew my parents would be dissapointed if i didn 't get a college degree. What's it matter? A career is a career! Neither one of them even went to college and none of my older brothers finished either. I want to do something like that too because its an interactiv kinda school, and i cn't handle sitting in classes all day so it should b more fun and its something Id really enjoy doing and i could make a living off of it! But why am I nervous about telling my parents?

A life controlled by panic

So maybe writing like this will help with everything, because so far nothing else has.
Panic attacks have once again taken over my life. I started having panic attacks at 15 and at 17 was diagnosed with a panic disorder. I took prozac for like 4 years, and it helped and then all of a sudden it stopped and the downwards spiral started. Even after going back to the doctor and switching to zoloft and xanax, it's getting worse. I can't go anywhere or do anything. My house was always a safe place for me, and it's not anymore. I've had to drop classes this quarter, I can't handle being at work, I can't even take Hailie for walks. I want my life back ! but I don't even know where to begin. I've been on the new medicines for 3 weeks now, and it's still getting worse. I'm so tired from them that I'm anxious all the times, so whenever i'm not actually having a panic attack, I feel like i'm about to at any time. I have panic attacks about the thought of having a panic  attacks.........Everytime I go somewhere I have to know the fastest route to get out of there in case one starts...I WANT MY LIFE BACK!

Bye bye tumble, hello blogspot!

So, I've had a tumblr for a while now, and i'm just not impressed, so i figure i'll give blogspot a chance. tumblr was to hard to follow and be followed!